War...War Never Changes...

The year was 2077. No one knows who fired the first nuclear bomb. But what ensued was not the end of days, but a new beginning.

Humanity, almost a century later, began to emerge from the pre-war, underground vaults that had protected them from the blasts and radiation. 200 years after the war, the first member of Vault 101 left the safety of their steel chasm, and what did he see?

Behold the future of our world...

...according to video game developer Bethesda in its addition to the Fallout series; Fallout 3.

Originally being a brain-child of game developer Black Isle Studios, until their parent company Interplay closed them down, the first two games of the Fallout franchise were bleak looks into the future of humanity, with a bit of silly pop culture references - ranging from everyday things like Coca Cola, called "Nuka-Cola" in the game, to the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch; an item that - yes - you can actually get in Fallout 2.

And, for the first time, Fallout leaves California, and instead takes to the barren wastes of Washington D.C., showcasing the remains of places like the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and even the White House - which looks like a battered shell of the former government that once took refuge within it.

The terrain for this game seems to be almost neverending and you can put a footprint on every inch of its possibly radiated goodness; coming across everything from ferrel dogs to super mutants - massive, disformed human beings who were made mishapen by the Forced Evolutionary Virus, referred to as F.E.V. in the game - while you travel.

And behind every great hero is a great weapon. So what's your protagonist packing?

There are three general statistics that can boost your proficiency with certain types of guns: small guns (which include pistols, rifles, and assault rifles), big guns (miniguns, missile launchers, flame throwers, and a very fun weapon that deserves its own paragraph), and energy weapons (lazors that can literally disintegrate your foes). Of course, there are genades of all types and shapes and - for the first time in the Fallout franchise -mines; which use the explosives statistic. But nevermind all of that weak sauce.

Why?

Because I've got a portable nuclear bomb shooter.

And yes, you did read that sentence correctly:

They Call It The "Fat Man"

Sure, it's not the most subtle weapon out there. But look at it this way: if you use it, there probably won't be anyone left to see you sneaking around anyway.

For those of us who like using the sneak skill, and not just nuking everything in our path, will need some way to aim our guns. And Bethesda offers two methods for that: you can free-hand shoot, where you point your crosshairs at a target and press the trigger button, or there is V.A.T.S. (pictured to the left, being used on a Super Mutant) - which stands for: Vault-Assisted Targeting System.

Every limb is targetable - although, unlike in the first two installments, Bethesda has removed the ability to target anyone's eyes or groin area. Even their weapon can be shot, which is usually done to disarm your enemies. If you aim at a grenade they're holding - or a missile they're firing - and you hit, it actually explodes mid-flight; possibly causing some extra damage to the holder.

But combat is just a small portion of the hours-upon-hours of gameplay that Fallout 3 packs. And while there is a fairly linear main-storyline that - I have heard - is fairly short, in the 24 or 25 hours or that I've spent playing it, I haven't bothered even touching it.

Between side-quests and just roaming around the D.C. area - admiring how Bethesda was able to so perfectly capture the sheer decimation and aftermath of our nuclear war - playing the game, I feel not just content, but invigorated and inspired to give in to my post-apocalyptic wanderlust.

That is, before my friend's Xbox 360 broke from the overexertion of sleepless nights at his house.

Yes, it is that good. Easily the best $65 dollars (which is including the California sales tax rate) I and my brother have spent in years.

Best of all, if you buy the Collector's Edition, it comes with a book full of the developer's artwork for the game, a "making-of" DVD for the game, a metal Vault-Tec lunchbox, and a bobble-head figure of Fallout's mascot, the PIPBoy (the colorful character on the right):

I Can't Wait For The Future

Look Out Mario...

Here's a riddle for you: What do you get when you combine Nintendo's Super Mario series with a recent presidential election?

Super Obama World was created by the game developers at Zensoft - makers of games like 'Zentris', a Tetris-knockoff game that was originally for the DOS operating system for computers - and its more recent update, 'Zentris 3000', have made a big splash in the world of free online gaming with its new knockoff hit, 'Super Obama World', that this time mimics the gameplay of Super Mario World and spices up the classic with some well-placed political satire.

For those of us who may not have been playing video games during the heyday of the Super Nintendo Entertainment System - and the Super Mario World franchise - the idea of the 1990s hit video game was simple: you're a plumber named Mario who is trying to save a race of man-sized dinosaurs, called Yoshis, from an evil reptillian king.

To do this, you take the festively-plump Italian hero through levels of different climates ranging from deserts to icy terrains; all-the-while defeating foes - which usually consist of bipedal tortoises and mushrooms - by jumping on their heads. And at the end of each level, you attempt to have your mustachioed protagonist jump into a bar for bonus points - which is the same as Super Obama World.

Super Obama World has yet to have an actual plotline laid out, but the playing style is the same.

And while there are only six levels available for play at the time of this publication - the number was only three when I began writing this article - the publisher has promised that, in the coming weeks, levels for Arizona and Washington D.C. will be made available.

Already it can be said that these levels each elicit the same feeling of joyous frustration, as the simple act of touching water can cause you to lose a life, and have to start over. The only safe way to come in contact with the evil creatures within Super Obama World involve stomping on their heads - as just running into them causes you to lose a life.

The vile figures that Obama must stomp all over carry many different forms - ranging from pigs that seem to be wearing lipstick, to men carrying sacks of money, and to Sarah Palin herself riding on a snow mobile (pictured above). As a side-note for what I noticed while playing the game - all of the human bad guys and gals are Caucasian. Whether this is intentional, and if it will change at a later date is not stated on their site.

But more interesting are the backdrops that set the tone and feel of this political game.

The world that Super Obama World consists of is full of real versions of rumors brought up during the recent presidential race - such as Sarah Palin banning books in Alaska (pictured to the left)- and different catchphrases and buzzwords used - like the aforementioned evil pigs with lipstick, and hockey moms (not pictured). One of the levels even features a bridge that runs the player into an invisible wall that blocks Obama from continuing foreword; a bridge adorned with a sign reading "Bridge To Nowhere".

The names of levels also parodies statements made during the race, as one is titled "I Can See Russia From My House!"

And, as Barack traverses each dangerous level, he is not without assistance, as Super Obama World has its own version of the Super Mushroom from Mario - that turned Mario into a larger version of himself, and allowed him to be hit by an enemy once before returning back to his former, weaker state. It looks like a piece of pumpkin pie that, when touched, turns the 44th President into a cooler form of himself - sporting a pair of shades and a black suit:

I Call Him "Coolbama"

In the end, the game takes the old-school gamer's nostalgic needs for challenging, side-scrolling, 2-dimensional platformers, and gives it a modern twist. And while the concept may be simplistic, it easily raises the bar for free online games.

Proof That I Am Not Above A Cheap Pun

Games On The Cheap

The video game market in this age is flooded with pretty, noisy games. Beautiful graphics adorn games with complex controls that can have your character doing everything from throwing fireballs to playing insanely difficult songs on a guitar.

Yet, in spite of all these improvements to video games, this gamer still finds himself taking to games like Tetris, Spider Solitaire, and free internet games like Ragdoll Avalanche 2 to pass most of his free time.

Certainly, if I ever had the money to blow on an Xbox 360 - $350 or so for the system that comes with a hard drive to save your game files on – and their games – costing around $60 a piece – then my gaming craving might be pointed toward things like Fable 2, Fallout 3 – which may be the best game of all time, from what I’ve heard - and Guitar Hero: World Tour. But, given the dwindling economy and job-market that has left me workless, those games are things I only get to enjoy at friends’ houses once every two weeks or so – making me a video game mooch.

It’s a shame that people like myself have to leech off of friends for games, since the video game industry has hit its second golden age; the first of which came around the early-to-late 1980s and early ‘90s with games like Super Mario and Sonic The Hedgehog. I imagine the feeling of penniless gamers today is very similar to how the Aztecs must have felt as the Spaniards came upon their shorelines; realizing that they missed out on things like the cultural interaction between China and Europe that brought about guns and large cannons, and generations of immunity development to diseases like smallpox.

“Discouraged” is the right term, I believe.

But, with much thanks to the internet, there are reprieves from the woes of free time. Free content, made by programmers who are driven only by the need to make an entertaining product for the world, and not by the need for money, is abundant. Entire websites are devoted to shelling out their free games. And as long you don’t mind dozens of annoying ads all over a webpage, and possibly a bit of spyware taking root in your computer, there are hundreds of hours to be spent scouring pages like freeonlinegames.com.

And it would seem that the destiny for the broke gamer: to be forever haunted by popup window offers of penis enlargements, “free” money, and exotic pornography that only the strangest of sexual deviants would eagerly scan the back alleys of the internet for.

But wait! There are relatively safe havens for the non-recession-proof gamer!

Sites like Yahoo, Myspace, and even Facebook have games sections that are – to my knowledge – non-intrusive!

Sure, they tend to have games that you could just play in real life - like pool, cribbage, and solitaire – but once in awhile a game like Text Twist or Tetris Friends – for Facebook – comes along and offers an outlet for hours and hours of fun that only costs as much as the internet connection you’re already paying for.

These games – especially games like Tetris Friends for Facebook that has a leaderboard for who among your friends has the highest score – tend to offer just enough competition to keep your interest for a while.

And holding your attention long enough to distract you from the worries of life in the age of economic recession, the inevitable rise in crime that such a recession will bring, and other worries of people in this day-and-age, is sometimes all you really need from a game.

Family Friendly Games!

An eager five year-old tore through the smoothe, colorful epidermal layer; exposing the entrails of its prey. The war cries of tiny soldiers resounded throughout the living room. Standing above the final gift - a small cartridge-sized box - the moment seizes him. He tears into the final Christmas present to see which video game his parents had bought him. And what game did he see?

"Big Bird's Hide And Speak", for the original Nintendo Entertainment System. Yes, the first video game I ever officially owned had been a child's educational game. And even at that young age, it was the most boring experience I've ever had.

And that's coming from a guy who used to have to ride in a car for 14 hours to Arizona every Summer to visit his grandparents.

For those of us who have children, and support the video gaming industry, there are a plethora of kid-friendly games that have come out. There are plenty of choices that parents have for games that have only a smattering of cartoonish violence and goofy humor that could keep your kids entertained for hours on-end. They make great Christmas gifts for your little tykes, and they are a fantastic way to keep your rowdy little ones from driving you insane.

But please, make an informed choice. Don't just grab something off the shelf of a store and assume they'll like it.

The mistake that most parents make when buying video games for their kids is the same: they assume that just because the game has lots of colors, cute voiceovers, and is even based off of a children's movie, it must be fun and engaging. But the reality is: they're boring and repetitive. And - to any older people who have to watch the kid play the game - it's obnoxious.

So what are better, age-appropriate options? Here's three great options that are safe, active, and - best of all - fun for everyone in your family:

1. Rock Band, or its sequel - Rock Band 2 (For Xbox 360, Playstation 3. The Wii and Playstation 2 systems will apparently be getting their own versions eventually, too)

• It comes with a microphone, an electronic drumset, a guitar and a bass guitar. The premise is simple: you and three other people are in a band that eventually tours the world. You play real songs made by famous bands from several generations (for the older crowd reading this, Rock Band 2 has Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan, Talking Heads, and The Allman Brothers).
  
  And while the guitars don't play like real guitars - thankfully, for those of us who are musically challenged - the drums are really close to being like the real-deal, and you actually get to sing into the microphone. And hey, you can even create a virtual version of yourself to rock-out with!
  But the best part about this game is: you get to have fun while spending quality time with your kids, and making sure they aren't seeing anything innappropriate.

2. Any game that starts with the word "Wii" (For the Nintendo Wii, of course)

• Nintendo has, for the last decade or so, embraced the fact that their games are - for the most part - family friendly. There's Wii Sports - which comes with the Nintendo Wii - Wii Play, Wii Fit, and Wii Music [http://www.wiimusic.com/launch/index.html] which was released recently. They're safe, fun, easy-to-play, and - in the case of Wii Fit - actually give you and your family a bit of a workout.

3. Spore (Playable on your home computer; eventually the Wii)

• What isn't awesome about being able to take a single-celled organism and eventually evolve it into an intergalactic species? The entire look and feel of your race is up to you. Want to be an herbivore? Go for it! Want to chow-down on other cute creations? Sure! There's no blood, and the violence is rather cartoonish by nature.
  
  That being said, a 5 year-olds probably wouldn't be able to really grasp the concept behind this game, so you should save it for kids who are around 10 years or older. And the coolest part about this game? Getting online access and being able to mingle with other peoples' crazy concoctions.

So, before you run to the store to get your kid the Madagascar 2 game - which will inevitably come out upon the movie's theatrical release - stop and think about how, for the same price, you could buy a game that your child and you can enjoy, together.

For Great Justice.

We were once nerds, dorks and dweebs; the social outcasts of society.

But now, with the millions of players on the World of Warcraft, the thousands playing the newest Madden game, and the rise of the Halo and Gears of War franchises, the gaming community has only one reply to the years of stereotypical abuse given to anyone who knew - and loved - their Ataris, NESs and Playstation. One iconic statement from anyone who gives a fond rememberance for the days when Sega used to have its own console:

All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

Perhaps that's a bit premature, as there has yet to be a gamer in the White House - or in any prominent position - but there is an ever-increasing marketplace for the videogaming audience in America; an audience that corporations have been trying to tap into for at least 18 years - the best example of this attempt at connecting with the gaming public coming from a company that was once a figurehead in the world of pizza: Dominos.

In 1990, Dominos released a game featuring their mascot "the Noid;" a strange bunny-eared man in a red suit who was on a quest to make all the pizza in the world cold. But the plot - or lack thereof - was far from being the reason to buy the game. The coupon for a dollar off your next Dominos purchase that came with it was a nice touch, but the real star of this Nintendo game was how easy the game was to play and how difficult it was to beat. It was one of those games that made you want to smash the game's cartridge to pieces, throw them through a wall, and subsequently urinate on the little bits.

Since then, companies like Barbie and Lego have created their own games; the latter of which only recently becoming a serious contender for gamers' cash with games like Lego Star Wars 1 and 2, Lego Indiana Jones, and Lego Batman - which all tend to be fun in a very simplistic, mindless sort of way.

Even Burger King tried to get into the video game business with their trio of inexpensive games for the Xbox. The games, according to this article, helped increase The King's sales by about 40%. And, for only costing about $4 for decent games in a market full of overpriced, overhyped garbage - Prince of Persia, I'm looking at you - it was a great way to blow a half an hour or so. On top of those games, in 2005 Burger King bought some advertising space inside of "Fight Night: Round 3," a boxing game that was released on the Xbox and Xbox 360, Playstation 2 and 3, and Playstation's portable gaming device - the PSP. And Burger King was far from being the first company to advertise like this.

But the real question is: why? Why are companies scrambling to get into video games?

And the answer is: marketability.

Video games now adays have all the visual appeal of a movie or television show, and just as much - if not more - thought about their plotlines. The four-game epic "Metal Gear" series - with its twisting storyline that hits upon government corruption - is the best example of how game makers are contending with the movie industry. The games had a very Bourne Ultimatum-meets-James Bond feel to them. But unlike either of those movies, the person watching the storyline unfold gets to control the action and actually be the protagonist.

And until movie theatres start hanging out game controllers, the popularity of video games are just going to increase.

Silver screen, make your time.

_______________________________________________________

PS: "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" and "Make Your Time" are references to a Japanese game called "Zero Wing," whose dialogue was horrifically translated into English.

The Gamer Paradox

There's been an identity crisis within the gaming community for years now.

And no, that's not a reference to the consistent surge of men who dress up like female video game characters at gaming conventions:

Gaming Conventions: A Transvestite's Wonderland

The identity crisis that I refer to revolves around the ever-changing definition of who is, and who is not a gamer. Everyone in the gaming community seems to have their own idea of what a gamer is; a narrow judgement usually geared to lobby themselves as the penultimate definition of what a gamer should be.

Of course, the dictionary tends to give its own nonpartisan view on matters like this, as well; usually the definition given is a very vague blanket-statement that could cover almost any creature on the planet that has the intellectual capacity to be one that "plays a game." From tiger cubs, to the nearly illiterate 13-year-old who has fun "pwning n00bz," to the thousands of game players who smile as they replay the thought of slapping that child for being an insult to the English language.

A popular definition I've derived from surfing a few websites seems to heavily emphasize whether or not you play roleplaying games - where your characters gradually increase in strength as the game continues, and has a long, twisting plot that usually involves intense struggles between good and evil.

The shortest, most reliable definition for RPG video games is: Dungeons & Dragons on their television, or computer monitor; which conjurs up an image of a thin, lanky, pocket-protector-wearing geek with thick glasses and a shrill, cackling laugh.

Which isn't even close to being the image that should be put with the modern gamer, who tends to look more like the current-day everyman.

But it seems like the notion that gaming is no longer something to be ashamed of is being resisted by those who call themselves "gamers;" like this blogger who seems to have a reverent-eye for the old days of video games, and a strong denial that anyone outside of his gaming identity is a gamer (paragraph 3).

And he is far from being the only one who does this.

Like dictators in a dawning age of democracy, the people who once held the exhaulted position in geekdom as being a "gamer" are seeing the broadening popularity of their favorite past-time, and - in an attempt to retain their status - find themselves denying their label to anyone who doesn't live up to their tightening standards.

The standards vary in inanity, but I'll discuss a few of my favorites:

• A real gamer has played [insert a few game titles, usually from the same genre - like roleplaying - here]

The problem that people are going to run into when using this logic is, aside from genre-favoritism, the idea that the average person can even afford the game(s) in question, if they're from the current-age of gaming. And, if the games are for older systems, there's a problem with accessability.

Older systems, like the Super Nintendo, don't have games made for it anymore. As such, anyone who was too young to experience the game will never be considered a gamer; which brings forth a strong notion of age-bias in the definition.

• The people who only play Madden - a football game - or Halo - a shooting game - aren't real gamers.

This almost seems like a direct shot at jocks, who are given the stereotype of being mindless goons, and whose recent ancestors terrorized the geek community - a group that gamers used to be coupled with. Also, it supports the idea that only people who play specific genres of gaming are worthy of being called a gamer, which is just ignorant, at best.

• Gamers are people who play a wide variety of video games, and don't just stick to one genre.

There's a money issue that has to be addressed when deciding what a gamer is. Just because you can't afford games - or systems like the Xbox 360 - doesn't mean you can't be a gamer. That's just promoting classism.

And while all this criticism of definitions is nice, and it would be great to let the dictionary's blanket-statement define us all, there is a fact that must be dealt with:

Just because you've grabbed a Wii-mote doesn't make you a gamer.

So what separates a gamer from the average game player?

A true gamer is anyone who gets joy out of playing video games, likes talking about video games, and at least knows some of the history behind what they like doing.

Even if they cross-dress as Yuna in public (See: Top-Most Picture).

Videogame Addiction

The American Psychiatric Association (A.P.A.) – who writes the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (D.S.M.); the book used by psychologists and psychiatrists world-wide to diagnose patients with mental disorders – has decided that, since videogame addiction is not defined in the current version of the DSM, it is not a mental disorder. Therefore, it is not officially an addiction.

For the fifth revised version, which should be finished by 2011, they are considering adding videogaming to their list of debilitating afflictions.

The DSM currently defines someone as being addicted if they have three or more of the “symptoms,” as listed on this website, over a period of 12 months.

The term “Substance Dependence,” which is the title of the linked section, can refer to everything from sex and drugs to leveling Locke, Celeste, and the rest of the Final Fantasy 6 gang to level 99 for an entire summer - as was the case with a brother of mine a few years ago.

The basic premise behind the D.S.M.’s definition of addiction is that a serious problem is being caused, and the problem comes from habitual use of something.

To decide if videogaming gets added, the A.P.A. will need to decide whether or not videogames have a potent enough effect to cause a serious problem in more than just a small sampling of people world-wide.

But if videogames have been around since 1958 – when Pong was created – then why is the subject of videogaming addiction just now being considered?

Part of the reason could be that videogames didn’t have the already large fan-base that they do now. After all, the current version of the DSM was published in 1994. That means:

• The “Madden Bowl” – A nation-wide videogame tournament where ex-NFL coach John Madden’s videogame is played – had not yet been created.
• The term MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) – a game genre that has millions of players across the planet – was in its earliest stages of creation, and nowhere near the powerhouse in game sales that it is today.
• The Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) was about three years old. • America had no idea what a “Playstation” was, as it hadn’t been released here yet.
• “Starcraft” – a computer game that is currently featured in two television channels in South Korea that are dedicated solely to videogaming, and has its own nation-wide tournament– was about three years from being created.

Games in this era, while being extremely fun in their own right, didn’t have the hardware capability to draw you into a storyline.

Graphically, it was impossible create large, expansive worlds full of colorful creatures and settings.

Full musical scores that have been tailored to pull you into the game, in the same way that movie soundtracks pull you into a scene, would have taken up too much space on a cartridge or CD to ever be considered for any game at the time.

But now, in the year 2008, there are games like Metal Gear Solid that have deep, thought-out storyline that stretches across four games. Upcoming games like Resident Evil 5 will almost certainly support pounding basslines and grotesque Lovecraftian horrors that are all designed to activate the fear centers in your brain in the same way that a good horror movie should.

And while the games that preceded 1994 were very popular in the gaming community, and were very fun to play, none of them have ever had confirmed kills due to parental neglect or self neglect.

Heart attacks from 50 hours of playing Metroid didn’t happen because…well…no one in their right mind would play Metroid for 50 hours straight. The game would get repetitive very quickly.

For now, as this article from CNN.com says, the subject of videogame addiction has been grouped in with internet addiction. But, given the ever-increasing popularity of videogames, and the growing number of stories about people dying while playing, this Gamer feels like the subject needs more attention.